Saying Bye to the Island Life

Alas, my time has come to an end here in PI. I will sorely miss all the gorgeous palms and amazing fruits. If only I could sneak some mangos in my bag. But I must say, my time here was well spent and all, but Im ready for some time in California. I miss being able to walk about freely without someone staring at me or someone having to watch over me just to go across the street to grab some food. Alex and I both agree, we definitely take the safety in America for granted. I never realized how fortunate I am. Okay Ill stop being all mushy. But yes, Im ready to go surfing and go to DISNEYLAND! :) And to be around people who SPEAK ENGLISH! I swear Im just going to stir up random conversations with people just because I can.

The past few days have been filled with mostly drinking and tanning. I have read 2 books and spent most of my time in a hammock (which I was trying to buy here but I cannot find one anywhere). The liquor is super cheap here. Like $7 for a bottle of nice Rum. So let's just say we got our fill. The legal drinking age here is 18 so Alex (being 20) took full advantage whenever we went out. Some family took us out for Japanese food yesterday for lunch and it was of course superb. Then we ventured out in the rural areas on these scrawny ass roads in a big van so we can go to the GK (I dont know how to spell what that stands for) Village. This is a village my aunt's brother founded and helped build for this group of villagers whose houses got demolished. They are still in the building process, right now there are about 40 homes and they are hoping to get to about 100. It's an adorbale and vibrant little village. The way it works is the villagers work in the area (agricultural type stuff) and it pays for their living. There is also a school! We went inside and they were having class, these precious little 4 year olds who were very excited to see new people. They are all sponsored to go to school. So I of course, wanted to steal them all and bring them back with me but my aunt said no for some reason.

this is just me and my cousin Marielle. We got some bows. And were super hyper and decided to put them in our hair. Her hair iz da best.

this is the village of GK!

After more eating, we went to go eat dinner. Gosh. (btw...I weighed myself...and I still weigh the exact same...I have no idea how this is possible) Our family here took us out downtown for our last night out and it started out great and full of energy...which was slowly turned into complete and utter agony. The traffic here on a friday at 5pm was the worst traffic Ive ever been in. By far, which is saying a lot since I have driven on I-35 in prime time rush hour. TOTAL NIGHTMARE. I was just reading for the first hour, then the second hour rolled along and that's when everyone just wanted to jump out of their own skin or kill something. In a car full of 9 people. This was not the most ideal situation. So, I tried to keep the peace by starting the game "Green Glass Door" (if you dont know what that is...too bad) which kept the kiddos preoccupied. But all the adults just had "I need a drink" written all over their faces. Upon arrival 2 1/2 hours later, my aunt and I just found the closest bar and were begging to go in. But we had reservations. The mall we went to was freaking sweet. Better than Mall of Asia by far. Why the heck didnt we go there before?!!? It was mostly outdoors, full of bars, all lit up and they had a waterfall!!! Plus there were actual white people there! Although they were mostly Australian...I wasnt complaining... So we are looking for this damn restaurant and everyone is starving, we find it 30 minutes later. I just want to do some bath salts and eat some people at this point. The food was great. But the tequila shots were better. However, I dont feel anything. Alex is tipsy, and Im just fine. Still dont understand how that works. So the kids run off and the adults have their own party. We go bar hopping and this mall transforms into a huge night club once the sun goes down. Techno blaring from one area and classic 80s rock from the other. It made up for the crappy arrival to say the least. So I stuck to beer and ritas the rest of the night. Tried as many Filipino beers as possible. (Shiner is still the best)-most of which were Pilsners; which arent my favsies but it did the job. We stuck to this one bar called Spicy Fingers. They had a great live band--the set up is a lot like Pure, if youve been there. But with the second floor on the bottom and a stage. The stereotype that asians cant sing (which is also trumped by Jessica Sanchez) was totally debunked. They were awesome. I know it wasnt just the alcohol because I recorded them and they were still great in the morning. :P

So now here we are, all packed for our flight leaving at 10pm and Im about to suffer from the worst jet lag possible. Thank you Melatonin/Red Bull. We arrive in LAX around 8pm, then drive home to San Diego for 2 hours. Then wake up Sunday morning to go to the Del Mar festival on the pier. How I plan to function is still a mystery to me, but I'll be sure to keep you posted.

HAHAHAHHAA...Alex.

Day 12: Resort to the Resort kinda Life

My my my it has been quite an adventursome few days. Seen the Taal Volcano, been to the edge of the South China Sea and picked fruit off the trees in the jungle. Step aside Jane, Lauren is conquering the wilderness by storm. Literally, there is supposedly a typhoon about to hit in approx 3 hours. Whatevs, we can hang. So since the sun is hiding let me fill you in.

Sunday was Keanna, my now 13 year old cousin's birthday. I cannot believe she's 13, I remember when she was born. This must be somewhat equivalent to how parents feel...I do not like it. But alas, it is my job to educate her on...things teenagers should know, otherwise they will find out from bad sources such as their friends, and she asked me, so I felt compelled to answer some of her questions about...boys and girls, birds and the bees...all that. So that caught me off guard and that's pretty much irrelevant to all of you but whatever. It's my blog. Deal. :) So at 6:30am we left for Downtown Manila while looking at the sites with my aunt Irene, who went to college here and she showed us where she went to school and all these amazing monuments. Of which I failed to take pictures of (dont kill me mom) since we were driving around and the quality of the pictures was atrocious so I decided to just save them to memory. So we went downtown to go to this show my aunt got tickets for called ASAP, a Philippino show in which many of the movie stars here go on and sing and dance, very exciting stuff...but I of course didnt know any of them but my aunt is an avid fan so she was like a 14 year old girl jumping up and down freaking out, which I thoroughly enjoyed. There was a lot of awesome singing and dance numbers, which I love, so it was a lot of fun. I really got into it. (duh, it's me) but there was this boy band there that everyone was freaking out about (shown below).

Let's just go ahead and agree, the guy in the middle is gorgeous. And all the 13 year olds there agreed, you could tell by their posters and yelling and crowding around him. Man and I thought Americans love their celebrities?! PSSSHHHH they need to step it up. These people are CRAY CRAY. Some girls started crying and hyperventilating and some jumped up on the stage and kissed them! Maybe I just never witnessed this first hand, but I was astonished.

So we enjoy the show and continue back home where my cousin is having her 13th birthday fiesta. BIG PARTY. Luckily we are in a big house which can accomodate that many people. Alex and I stood out like sore thumbs apparently. Everyone stared and wanted to meet us. Needless to say, I mostly stuck by the pool and the bar area eating or drinking. Typical American behavior. There was an awesome pinata type game for the kids. One for boys with boy toys and vice versa for the girls. (I will post videos of them fighting over the goodies later-it's a must watch)

Meanwhile, I fell in love with this handsome devil (shown above). Most of the people my age here spoke English so it was fun getting to know the locals. Soon there after, Lauren had had a little too much wine/sangria because when Keanna requested for me to sing karaoke, I gladly accepted the challenge. Stupid japanese genes. I sang 4 Katy Perry songs and then whatever song my cousin punched into the machine. I guess I was amazing...or a disaster (probably the latter) because everyone was watching. Not only was in singing full blast, I continued to make a fool of myself by adding some Jansen-dance moves into the mix. Sight for sore eyes I'd say. All in all, it was some great cardio.

So on Monday, I finally got my new credit card in the mail. Needless to say, I went shopping. And did some damage. Luckily things are super cheap here so it was worthwhile.

On Tuesday we left for the amazing Hamilo Coast where we stayed at the Pico de Loro resort. I have never seen such a beautiful place with my own eyes. I was in shock. And since it was a week day, there was maybe a hand full of people at the whole resort. It's a members only resort so its extremely seclusive. Which was amazing. I just can't describe how "away from it all" I felt. Like we were the only people on the Earth and I didnt have a care in the world. My smile was on the entire time, and I couldn't turn it off. Im pretty sure I slept smiling. So we just lounged at the pool and beach but since the typhoon is coming, we werent allowed to go scuba diving (sad day) or even get in the water. The waves were about 8 ft and crashing onto the shore full force. But it was fun to watch. But we got to walk out on the pier and got soaking wet. The water was soooo warm. Definitley shark infested, the people working there said if we went out scuba diving there would be a lot of sharks....in which I responded with a smirk "you know that just makes me want to go out even more right?" He thought I was kidding. Sarcasm isnt very prevalent here, so it's a big inside joke between Alex and I. We're awful I know, I know.

So in the pool we were all horsing around and what did this idiot do? Stub her big toe. But not only that, my nail cracked in half all the way to the cuticle right down the middle. So I now I have half a toe nail. :/ It's quite hideous but the nail is still there, for the most part, just waiting for it to fall off. But i was super pissed. Blood was everywhere and everyone was freaking out but it wasn't all that bad. and did not hurt at all. It just looked nasty. (I like to lift up the nail and look at the inside and freak out my aunt) mwhahahhaa Oh well.

So Alex and I went to bed early so we could go on a hike in the morning to see the sunrise. Woke up at 5am and boy was it worth it. The entire sky was pink (again I failed to bring my charger so no pictures...sowwy) but it was breathtaking.

This is my delicious Mai Tai (one of many I might add) but the pina coladas were drool worthy.

After our stay we ventured off to the tourist city of Tagaytay. It was on the way back to our city of residence, Kawit in the province of Cavite. Here we stopped at this cute collection of cafes and bistros. Which included this here volcano. SOOOO COOOOL! The view was amazing (seems to be a trend in the Philippines) and I probably took 20 pictures of the same thing. Because I can. So we ate at this Italian restaurant and it was better than the food I had while in Italy. These people must put crack in all their food because every single dish is delish. But their lasanga...the best I ever had. Everyone at the table had some. And the waiter made me sign their guest book because "he liked me". He was very determined to get me to come back, even though I told him I'm returning to California in 3 days. He told me I could stay with him....RIIIIGGGHHHTTT.

Along the way home, we stopped at this huge market on the side of the road. Least to say, it was intense. I was overwhelmed by all the foods I have never seen nor heard of. As shown above, meet Jack Fruit. It's large and in charge. That stuff grows from a tree! HOW!? It's as big as a tree!! Well I saw it dangle from a tree branch and the branch was so heavy it was touching the ground. Well this stuff is pretty good. There was a bunch of other fruits we bought but I dont know how to spell nor pronounce any of them. Sadly Im allergic to papaya so I couldn't indulge in that with the rest of my family. There was also a million different kind of plants they were selling (including bonzai trees, which I wanted but I know it wouldn't make it past customs).

While we were busy picking fruit, my uncle Emile locked me out of the car because I saw these huge spiders dangling around the area and I was screaming my head off. The locals just laughed at me. There were about 40 of these guys dangling above my head. I was going to die. But he let me back in.

We also stopped by this fantastic place. Heaven. On. Earth. They have the best coffee Ive ever had. No joke. I bought waaaaay too much. And by that I mean I should have bought more. They also sell this one kind called Civit Coffee, apparently a type of cat eats exotic berries and then poops it out and they turn it into coffee and sell it for 1500 pisos (which is about $40! for a 8 oz bag) FOR A BAG OF POOP!?!? I was just baffled.

And as for today, well it mainly consisted of sleeping in, Cranium, my Rum and fresh squeezed pineapple/mango mixed drink and an amazing sweedish/aromatherapy massage. Guess now I can officially say I've had a real asian massage.

Day 6: Filippino Coffee is hardcore.

Wow. Just had 4 8oz cups of regular coffee and I don't know how to control my energy. Im surprised I can type so well with all these jitters. For all you coffee adicts out there, this stuff is legit. Im brining a freakin suitcase full of the coffee back home. I would just like to say, over half of my pictures from this trip are of food. Everything is about food here. And boy is it delish. I am actually being conscientious about what I am consuming...which never happens.

So just to recap the past few days, for lack of better words, this trip has been utterly relaxing. I am basically waited on hand and foot, which I am not used to and don't think I'll ever get used to it. Also we have our own body guard, which is just so strange because he is just like my shadow. I would seriously hate being famous/that rich. But it is definitely necessary in some of these areas. The house we've been staying at is in a really poor province. Apparently this area has the most unregistered guns in all the Philippines. (sounds like Texas to me). I thought since Im asian and pretty dark complexion, I would fit right in. Wrong. People stare at my brother and I like we are famous. They even point at us! Yesterday we ventured by bus to the local market. It was such an eye opening experience. (Sorry all the pictures Ive taken are on my aunt's camera so I'll just have to make a photo album for later viewing). BUT, there was a group of guys standing around where I wandered off and they asked to take a picture with me. I just laughed and said yes. Then on our way back we stopped for lunch and this guy just walked up to me and took my picture! Seriously? I could not believe it. The best part is what happened to Alex. We went to the mall and this girl opened the dressing room for him, when he came out she spoke to him in Tagalog and the bodyguard had to translate, she asked "are you single?" to which he said yes and started introducing themselves, turns out he invited her and a few of her friends (for the bodyguard) to my cousin's birthday fiesta tomorrow at the house (the whole village is invited so it wont be weird...hopefully). OMG. Go little brother. I mean she was really cute so props to him. And she's a year older. Cougar on the prowl? And he's American? Score.

This is a Filipino specialty. No Thank you to the beans but the other one is quite tasty. So Alex and I have taken every opportunity to site see around the local area so yesterday we got these "tricycles" (which are really a motorcycle with a covered buggie) to drive us around town. I freakin love these things. Minus the polluants they release. They are super fun, plus they drive super crazy here, making them even more fun! (I hope my mom skips that part).

This is the view from my tanning spot by the pool in the backyard. It is just so beautiful here and the weather is perfect. Who would have thought I love Monsoon season? It rains mostly at night, which helps me sleep and then it cools off the morning just until it gets hot enough to go swim.

So the other day (My days are all mixed up so sorry to all you chronologically inclined people), we went to the movies to see Prometheus since it was raining. (freaking epic btw). Well their theaters are huge, like bigger than the IMAX. But of course we sat next to these damn fools whose cell phones kept going off (they do not have the no cell phone message at the beginning, in fact they dont have previews at all). But anyways, I hate to say it, but the people here are not friendly. They must have skipped that class in school because when you are in line, they will cut you, and look at you like you did something wrong. They will walk right in front of you while texting, bump you, and just keep walking. I was about to kill some asians. It makes me really appreciate the southern hospitality we do have. The culture is just sooo different here. High school kids still hang out at the mall though. But damn, I walked into a department store where apparently an all boys school was just unleashed and they were all in line waiting to cash their paychecks and every single one of them stopped and stared at me as I walked by. At this point I just stared back because it's past the point of flattering. Or maybe Im just not good at this kind of attention. But my aunt was dying laughing because she said it was like a domino effect of heads turning.

Okay, back on point. The movie theater. So my first time to use a public bathroom here, and it was the most bizzare experience I've had yet. When you walk in, you know how you form a line if all the stalls are full? Well not here. They stand directly in front of the stall they want to go in to. But unbeknownst to me, I tried to stand behind the chick in front of me and she looked at me like I was half retarded when there were stalls that had nobody in front of them, I quickly caught on and found my stall. Next problem, I get in the stall, and there is no freaking toilet paper, not even a dispenser! WTF. So I do the whole wiggle movement. Load and behold, there is only one toilet paper dispenser, and it's on the outside where the sinks are. > < Whatever, I guess it saves paper? So I go to wash my hands and people push their way to the sink, instead of normal "wait your turn" so I follow suit. I just can't get over how pushy everyone is. I thought asians were all polite?

This is how they have their popcorn. It's stale. And it's partitioned between the different popcorn flavors they have, like cheddar (frekaing gross). I got a lollipop and was completely satisfied.

It's funny how the little things you wouldnt even think about in the states are such big fiascos here. Like the bathroom. I am also easily amused by making note of all these differences (as you can see), one brilliant thing they have here is the parking lot system. You know how annoying it is to search for a open spot? Well here they have little lights above each spot that are red if it's occupied and green if it's vacant, so you dont end up driving around all over the place looking. BRILLIANT! Also, everyone here loves the NBA. Like ridiculous. Also at the theater they use cards (like credit cards) instead of tickets, so not only is it saving paper, but it prevents (people like me) from movie hoping! I privately (yet publicly) hope that does not get adopted to the states.

Jet Laaaaaag why must you torment me so?!

Day 2 in PI! (that's apparently what everyone calls the Philippine Islands here)

I could not feel more at home here. And apparently I am royalty, so step aside Kate Middleton. Lauren Jansen has arrived. After waiting in the airport for 2 hours for baggage claim we made our way to Kawit, a smaller city outside of Manila (the capital) where we flew in. The plane ride was pretty cozy, and they would not stop feeding us. I got up to pee like 12 times which was terrible since I had the window seat. But for such a long ride, it wasn't bad at all.
Once we landed, everyone was complaining about how humid it is here but Alex and I just scoffed because we are so used to it from living in Houston for so long. It's exactly the same, except gorgeous. I am in paradise. Not only that but upon pulling through the gate to see that I was going to be living in a palace (of which I made videos of)...I basically wrote off any signs of me returning to the states. My only complaint is the mosquitos. Holy. Crap. Do they suck. Seriously. I mean, I hourly have to spray myself with off. It's just the fragrance down here. Pretty soon it'll be seeping out of my pores.

This is just the front of the house and not even the entire front yard. Im standing in the middle of it. It's ridic. We also have our own chef! The food is AMAZING. I am definitely going to gain weight here, but I'll be running every evening on this track you see here. So that should help. Anyways, so we all arrive and immediately eat, go swimming, get the grand tour, and then the chef brought us some fresh coconuts that were cut down by a guy who works on the grounds here and we had fresh coconut water! So good. Since it was 1am in Texas but noon here, I laid down for a nap, and didnt wake up until 6pm. CRAP! Screwed up my sleeping schedule. So I woke up and it was pitch black outside, so it gets dark really early but of course dinner is ready so I ate me some grub and tried to stay up as late as I could, since it was 5am Texas time it was pretty challenging. But one of my best talents is sleeping, so around 11pm here, I went back to sleep. To my enjoyment, around 4am there was some crazy monsoon that hit, but I kept sleeping until 6am to which my cousins lovingly woke me up by jumping on me. The coffee here is DEE-LISH! I love it. But the best part is all the fresh tropical fruit. Let's face it. Im getting spoiled and I don't mind it one bit. Now I'm about to go shopping in the Mall of Asia, the third largest mall in all of Asia and it's 30 stories tall. My humanitarian side just wants to give all my money to the poor people I see everywhere who live in houses the size of my closet. This has truly been an eye opening experience thus far. Pretty soon we are going to go to the GK village, a village that is a mix between the ones you see in Slumdog Millionaire and the poor countries in Bourne Identity (just to give a visual) and my family has started this village to help support the poor people. Their income goes straight towards their families and they dont have to pay for their houses. Their jobs just include bettering their community and working in their area. Which is quite an improvement from their poverty stricken area they had before. It's incredible.

Anyways, I just found out there is a bamboo bike here and I MUST test this baby out.

Time to hit the sky.
Well it's finally time for me to leave the states and cross the Pacific Ocean over to the motherland. The Philippines (no I'm not Filipino, but it's close enough). I've spent the past couple of days in the beautiful city of San Diego. Of course while Alex and I were boarding the plane in Austin, the flight attendant asked if there were three people who were willing to give up their seats in exchange for $400 each and a one-way flight to San Diego first thing in the morning. Alex and I were torn on whether or not to take this deal, alas, we had our hearts set on seeing our beloved family SO MUCH...that we had to turn her down. After we arrived in San Diego, we told our family this ordeal, in which they lovingly responded by laughing at us and saying "what the heck...I would have done it...$400 bucks are you kidding me?! totally worth it!" ....in which I simply replied with a sigh and a shrug "yeah were idiots". Oh well. Guess money really isn't everything?

So after our awesome midnight fish tacos...I entered Keanna's (my twelve year old cousin) room to stumble upon a shrine for the band "One Direction". Of which she is currently at the concert of, as I write this. I don't remember ever being so as she says, "dedicated" (I think it's obsessed but w/e) as a pre-teen. But I guess my memory really is as bad as I think it is. I was supposed to go with her and her little friends to chaperon, but my lovely cousin Christina surprised me today by taking off work to take me out for some 21 and up fun out in the sun of San Diego :) ((she saved my sanity, but I love Keanna so it would have been worth it))

So this morning for brunch, we went to the Original Pancake House...it's freaking amazing. Alex got the German Pancake and I got the Dutch Baby....let me explain.

OH SHWACK!! Yeah his was falling off the friggin plate. But it was delicious. (warning- I really love food)

In the meantime, my gorgeous and hilarious aunt continues to entertain me by telling me she has a zoo. Although this thought does intrigue my interest, I remain cautious, for she has a way of scaring the crap out of me. We walk into the garage....and this is what we find.

Four Horny Toads...well that name does not do them justice. They are freakin lizards. Really creepy/lazy/creepyyyyy lizards. But I have a strange love for unusual things. And these are quite unusual. So I "played" with them for a while....oh and their bunny. (weird mix I know) Although I guess I have no room to talk, since I do one day want to have a pet hedgehog and name it Pebbles. (then get another and name it Bam Bam).

So as the evening proceeded, I helped Keanna and her friends get ready for the concert by doing their hair and make-up. My heart melted a little as I put mascara on her (stupid motherly feelings) and got her all dolled up. But I have to face the music. She's all growed up. I mean...she's gorgeous and she's only twelve so I gave her a lecture on how boys are just....well you  know.

So Christina and I hit up the town and went to La Jolla Beach, where her sister/my cousin Tammy works at Truluck's. (freaking amazing seafood restaurant) for happy hour! Best. Idea. Ever.
Let the picture do the talking...

Fried Calamari, Ceviche, and Crabcake Sliders. Along with an Espresso Martini and Red Door Martini, Christina had a Bellini and Sangria. Fab-u-lous!

Our evening continued to take us to Mission Beach where we walked around Belmont Park (an amusement park at the beach) and walked around to let all our food digest. Then we decided to go pick up Alex and go see a movie with Tammy after she got off work. Well- that was a total fail because 30 minutes into the movie...the screen just died. Flat out. Died. No workie. So now I'm here...writing to whomever is bored enough/awesome enough to read this. :D

Tomorrow we are being picked up by a shuttle at 1:30pm to go to LAX for our 15 hour flight to the Philippines to begin. (sigh) I've tried to work out the time change crap and I'm just going to have to face that I'm probably going to have jet lag. The weird thing is, we won't be arriving until Monday around 3pm. So Sunday, June 10th won't even exist for me. HOW FREAKING WEIRD. (ps. Keanna just got back from the concert and is freaking out). Well I'll be sure to inform you on how the flight goes. I have been watching waaaaay too much Lost, so I'm just hoping our flight isn't Flight 815. (fingers crossed) It's about to be quite an adventure! And since I'm such a music junkie. I'll be posting a song to go along with my daily journey. Time to take flight! --> Music