A Lasting Perspective

Throughout my experience in Guatemala, I was challenged every day to see life from a new perspective. Learning not only about a new culture and the daily struggles others face, but also about appreciating what I have. It is so easy to get caught up in the routine of going to school go to work go to the gym make dinner go to sleep. It’s stepping outside the redundancy and seeing your life for what it really is that’s important; reflection. Taking the time to just stop, live in the moment, good or bad, allow yourself to feel what you feel and then go forward. I learned that being around so many people who literally have a dollar a day to spend on food for themselves and their children should not make you feel guilty, but blessed. These people do not need to be pitied, just admiration in how they can thrive and be happy through the simplest of means. They simply accept their predicament, and for me, this was just mind boggling, I couldn't help but think, if I had been born a Guatemalan, this could have been my life.  At first my reaction was, how on Earth can you be so positive and happy?! I know people who have so much more than you and they are absolutely miserable. But this is the world they know, and to them, they too are blessed, just to have the clothes on their back and their child in their arms, living and breathing.

The joy I felt on my trip to Guatemala was unparalleled to anything I’ve yet to experience. I received so much more out of this trip than was expected; thinking I simply wanted to get some Spanish under my belt, learn about their health care system, this trip brought me my own unique Guatemalan family. A piece of my heart will always be there with them and what they have shown me, not only their culture, but also helped me learn a bit more about myself and what I want out of life. I was lucky enough to be able to venture off to this third world country, meet some amazing people that have changed my life, and step out of my comfort zone and just experience life in a…well….foreign way. There is so much I can say with words on how this trip truly impacted my way of thinking, but I do hope that if you are reading this, this gives you some sort of initiative to take a leap of faith. We all have our goals and desires to achieve different things, but one thing that we must remember is that you gain nothing when you attach your self-value to something external that’s admirable or praiseworthy to you, you gain when you find that internal happiness. 

A Deep Burn

This past week was filled with many mixed emotions, as it was my sixth week, I was feeling anxious, comfortable, uncomfortable, sad to be leaving soon…I was all over the board. All in all, I was a bit overwhelmed. The psychologist who normally comes in during the week didn't show up at all, therefore Katia and I were left to muster through the new patients and find out what we could do to help them. One infant had to be sent to the ICU and had an emotional break down in front of all the parents. There is nothing more frustrating that having skills and words you know will help alleviate the situation, and yet, you are unable to use your words, because you do not speak Spanish well enough. I was starting to understand Lost in Translation a bit better at this point in my day. Trying to translate constantly for hours on end is quite exhausting, to the point where I would get on the bus to pick me up from the hospital and I would just pass out on the drive home. Luckily, having the big happy 13 people back home to greet me really made the difference. Super supportive and always able to lend an ear or a shoulder, they were great, every single one of them.

I know that on this blog I have been writing about most of my cultural and travel experiences in Guatemala, however, the work plays a big part in my day as well. It’s just much harder to write about such sensitive subjects, such as skin graft surgeries, and how I interact with these kids in detail. However, noting these details of my day seem pertinent to giving you the entire story.

Roosevelt Hospital is one of two Regional Hospitals in all of Guatemala, meaning there are only two Pediatric Burn Units in the entire country. Children are brought here from all over the country, which could mean a 10 hour bus ride or a chicken bus ride from their home…not to mention you have a screaming child whose flesh is charred to what most of them have of a third degree burn. The most extensive burn I have yet to see was about 42% of their body. Most of these children live in rural areas where the only way to cook is in a giant (approximately 3 foot in diameter) fire with a pot of boiling water, after cooking the water just cools off naturally and when the kids are running around on the ground where the pot lays, they can fall in and since its so deep and so wide, they cannot get themselves out. That’s where this amazing hospital staff comes in. 

I can safely say in our burn unit, you have to have some thick skin (bad joke?) You deal with screaming children day in and day out and on top of that, you have to give these kids a bath. I will be playing with a happy 3 year old, and then he will see the nurse’s face and immediately start sobbing. I cant imagine how that would affect one’s psyche, so I give these people props. The baths are brutal, I think I am more deaf now than when I first arrived, I go in with them to help bandage them or comfort them as best I can, but all in all it feels like you aren’t making a difference, it's the occasional distraction that makes me acting like a clown all worth it. Recently they stopped giving the kids morphine and so the experience is even more traumatizing. Who ever would have thought a bath could be so terrifying? Fun fact: I asked all the nurses, they all believe that the girls are better at handling the baths than the boys are….just an opinion, but still worth noting.

Besides the bathing processes, another difficult aspect of being in this unit is of course, the lack of supplies. That was to be expected, all the same, it’s still infuriating when I think about all the supplies people waste back home and is just sitting there when these people can hardly find clean gloves to wear to give an injection. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is the use of morphine on these children. No, they don't use it as frequently as they did before I arrived, but the fact that an addictive drug has no alternative here, its challenging to accept. Especially when you are trying to play with a four year old who is so drugged he can barely hold a crayon.

My last sad situation is the parents. Mostly it is the mothers that stay day in and day out with their children. I love seeing how caring the parents are for their children, but seeing how frustrated they are that there is nothing they can do for their children, it is something I cant even fathom since I do not have children of my own, but if I already feel as bad as I do seeing them so upset…I don't even want to know quite frankly.

Its nice knowing through touch or a hug, these moms understand that I care about how they feel and I try to be as comforting as humanly possible with this translation barrier. Its nice to see them acknowledge my concern and they still attempt to talk to me in Spanish because they want me to know they appreciate me being there. That makes all the difference in my book. I feel that support is such an overlooked concept now days, people just try to be autonomous and self sufficient, and it can be to such an extreme. They are afraid to let others care for them or be vulnerable and it does nothing but hinder them even further. I know that my role here is not to change someone’s life and be given praise for doing good deeds for others, its not the point at all, my main goal was to start a change in myself and to get to know myself and passions a bit better. Give to those who don't get to have the choices I have, not because I feel pity or guilty, simply because I want to.

That being said, it is also easy to get caught up in the emotional stirs of things. Becoming too involved or taking things personally. For example, a seven year old that I have found a soft spot for called me a horrible word in Spanish, he thought it was hilarious, and I thought I would just punt him across the room. Astonished, I left the room pretty crushed, as it was his last day at the clinic after 6 weeks, I soon realized that it was just his way of getting attention and I was taking it way too personally, making a stronger case for my theory that throughout life, our main challenge is finding a balance, in all things, whether it be diet, exercise, how much time you spend at work or how much energy you give to any task.

To summarize my hospital experience, I just want to say, its not easy putting on a smiling face everyday. But having the ability to put one on someone else’s face even if it’s just for a second to help take away their pain, it’s completely worth it.  If you have the time to take a week or two to volunteer and get out of your comfort zone, I highly suggest it. You will learn more about yourself in that short amount of time than you ever deemed possible. 

Business is Business

Friday after work was a swift shift of pace into vacation mode. The thirteen of us took off with our driver Victor, we are total bffs now, to Antigua. It is certainly hard work traveling with this many people, it seemed as if everyone had their role. Mine, was music DJ. I have an eclectic mix on my iPod luckily but it was tough to please everyone, not only do we have a generation break down but also cultural, from Dubai to Taiwan, we have quite the mix. However, Id like to think it was a success considering we sang the entire way there. Have I really only been with these people for six days?! We arrive at our fancy hotel in the middle of town Hotel Posada de Don Rodrigo and our room (me, Becca and Nancy-the tiny Taiwanese lady) had a gorgeous view of the famous clock bridge. Inside our hotel we had a charming garden with an Arabic style fountain with the view of the volcano…yes it was picturesque, so we went a little crazy with pictures for a while. Why do people have to take duplicate pictures? We know you are going to post them online and we can share photos instead of taking five of the same thing….I will never understand this. Anywho, we wanted to venture off and of course everyone was pulling in multiple directions, so we split up. Patti, Becca and I went to my little coffee shop in the plaza (I had to, I told them I was coming back) my little barista friend Claudia made Patti her first cup of coffee out of a V-60…this was extremely exciting for me considering my adoration for the art of coffee. I had been talking this place up to Patti the whole week, and she told me it lived up to its name, and then some, so I was pleased. I deserve some sort of compensation for spreading the word on this place, seriously. Well I did happen to buy a pound of this amazing coffee from “The Orient” which is just the eastern region of Guatemala, but the nodes of caramel sold me. Claudia hooked me up with a hot chocolate with a little bear design in the foam…gosh stop being so cute! I needed to get out of there before I bought more coffee. So we met up the rest of the group at a wine bar and that's when the shopping spree began.

A couple of the women we came with earned their name of “shopaholic” by spending every dime they had…or Quetzal (the currency here), to the point where Nancy tried to keep shopping without realizing she had no money left, someone had to spot her for our last dinner. Let me remind you, stuff is cheap here, like really. I love bartering, at first I really hated it, but now, it has become a fun little challenge. By the end of it you realize you were arguing between 6 and 7 bucks and it seems a bit ridiculous, however, it's about the sense of accomplishment, not the price. It is going to be hard for me to go shopping in the US now, Im going to try to get my purchases down at least 40% and I will probably get laughed at.

After a few hours of being stalked by little kids on the street and me realizing I have no soft spot for that, we decided it was time for dinner. Carlos, my partner in crime from Puerto Rico who loves food just as much as me, finds a great place with amazing reviews…however it’s on the other side of the city, only a 20 minute walk. Walking through these cobblestone streets isn’t exactly a picnic for everyone we are with, so assuring them with how food is going to be after their constants “are we there yet mom” type of responses, we finally make it, and I give Carlos the death stare saying with my eyes “this place BETTER have been worth it” we look inside…it has a bar and a table for three. You've gotta be kidding me! Yep. Rob goes around the corner saying “oh look there is an upstairs!” Turns out there are exactly thirteen chairs up in this attic space they turned into a vintage graffiti covered dining area. We spent about an hour just reading the quotes all over the building, admiring the unique décor, and of course adding a bit of our own. After enjoying some fabulous tenderloin in a peppercorn sauce and a glass of wine, we were ready to roll.

Our goal before we left for our trip was to find a karaoke bar in at least one of the cities we visited, sadly it did not happen, as I love karaoke. But we did stumble across a little dance club where we earned our name of “those loud American girls” as we got the party started as the only ones on the dance floor. Before we knew it I was being spun around by some random old man, I looked around, turns out we were all doing salsa and just going in a big circle changing partners. It was great! But we maneuvered over to the rest of the group and hung out in our own little corner dancing to this random mix of bachata, salsa, rap and techno.

Saturday: We made our three-hour trip to Lake Atitlan. It was as breathtaking as everyone had told me. When you are about to see the lake driving through these winding mountains, you pass a giant waterfall, as if that isn’t welcoming enough, right after it you arrive at Mirador where you have a view of almost the entire lake (its so big theres no way you could see the whole thing). Completely enclosed by mountains and three giant volcanoes, the blue water was stunning. So calm and captivating, I could have easily just sat there the rest of the trip with a cup of tea in hand and a hammock. Set. Turns out there was a lot of tea and hammocks at our hotel, so I guess wishes do come true sometimes. :P

As we came to our hotel though, Rob (this giant 6’5 Canadian man who is the most sarcastic person I think I have ever met) Becca and I are starving by this point, but everyone wants to go on this cruise across the lake to three little cities THEN eat lunch…uhm no, Im not going to wait that long for some grub, especially when I just smelled the most delicious chicken coming in on the bus. So we run, literally run, to grab this street chicken before we depart. For basically an entire leg and breast and some fries, it cost me 15Q which is about $1.80. No hormones, no preservatives….just some regular ole fried chicken. It was heavenly. Running back we get on our boat, which I am almost certain does not pass any of the US safety codes, but that is one thing about Guatemala, you may die doing some activity, and that's just the way it is. At your own risk. Turned out to be a fun little ride, I felt as if I was in New Zealand by how green the mountains were all around us. Plus the boat was so low in the water, that the water came up around us to form a half tunnel of water surrounding our boat, it was pretty neat. (I tried to make a video of this but I don't think it does it justice).

This was our hotel pool. 

To summarize the city hopping, me Rob and Becca stuck together in the first city where the rest of the group just had lunch. Well we already ate, so we ventured off to find some cool art galleries, and I so wish I could have bought some of the paintings I saw, but since we were traveling by boat…I wasn't going to risk it. We met an artist who was actually showcased in Austin! He went through a few of his paintings with me and told me about the meaning behind them. It was very hard to resist. The next town was a bombardment of  little kids telling me how they need to pay for their school and mom’s pointing at their daughters saying they need to eat today….geeze are you kidding me?! Do you just want to take my whole wallet? The other ladies who have bigger hearts than me, or are more easily manipulated, however you want to see it, buy their little trinkets. I try to explain to them that I am a broke college graduate and am here to volunteer to help and give my TIME. However, I understand the desperation, but when we tried to give a boy coins and he says "no I dont want that," I no longer have any sympathy for you. I said "money is money" but the kids just say “business is business, do you want to buy it or not”….wow. That was in English. I think you are doing just fine in school kid. We also got to see where the locals make all their ceramics, that was pretty cool to see, I was more worried about breaking something so I tried to stay clear of the area. The last city we were at for a short time and it was very close to the mountains where you could see a bunch of kites being flown from God knows where, I was playing where’s waldo trying to locate the owner of the kites, it was pretty impossible with the mist. A storm was coming, so we rolled out of there.

The boat ride home was a wet one. Pouring rain we somehow made it back across the giant lake and got ready to go have us some dinner. The majority of the group decided to stay in at the hotel and watch the Marimba band and dancers, Im not that crazy about marimba or eating hotel food, so Becca, Rob, Carlos, Victor, Renee and I decided to go to the Circus Bar where our coordinator had told us had amazing pizza. Yes. I am all about that. They hit the nail on the head because I have never had such an amazing Hawaiian pizza. The only factor I didn't take into consideration was the fact that “Circus” bar meant “clowns”….this country is really pushing it with the whole clown thing. I just cant win. There were pictures of them everywhere. However the great wine and relaxing Spanish guitar music made up for it.

Sunday: Chichicastenango Market, also known as Chichi market for short. I was honestly not that impressed with the selection they offered, as it did not look anything like the pictures. But Becca and I were able to go off on our own and dive into the shops of our choice at our own pace, which was nice. It was just a nice relaxing day at the market and I really enjoyed people watching, and of course the bartering was the best here. My favorite line of many was "Amiga! Buy for your mom? Your boyfriend? Your dog?...Your enemy?"...I laughed out loud at that one. Nicely done sir. Seeing who could get the best deal was the name of the game, and I think I won. The market closes at 2 so we all met up and had lunch at a restaurant at the heart of the market. It was a great way to end the weekend.

Parasites make bad pets.

This past weekend was spent traveling to an exotic gem of Guatemala, Semuc Champey, I have been waiting entire four week trip to see this beautiful place, and it was completely worth the eight hour ride to get there. But before we dive into those details, let me inform you of our treacherous journey. Becca and I left the bus station on the “especial” bus. It is essentially a coach bus that does not smell very pleasant and these crazy drivers that take these windy turns up and down mountains like nobody’s business. If I didn't hold onto the arm rest (the real reason there are arm rests on these buses) I would have been tossed onto the floor or against the window enough to have given me a concussion. I don't get car sick at all, but this was a close call (yes, there are bathrooms on these things, not that you could sit on the toilet long enough to get the job done….sorry, just saying). Around 630pm we arrive in Coban, its pitch black and all I have to get us to our hotel is my broken Spanish and a map of the city. So I approached the crazy driver and asked if he would please please drop us at our hotel since it was on the main road, he obliged very kindly (so now I feel rude about insulting his driving)…anywho he drops us and after walking half a block in this not so great area we find our adorable hotel. Upon entering, I try to talk with the receptionist….after becoming frustrated with his inability to understand me we just go up to our room. He not only tried to get us to pay for two rooms when we wanted to just share one, but he also told us that our tour does not pick up from the hotel (the only reason I got this was because he kept pointing around the corner and other context clues). So we resort to calling our director Virginia to help us understand why we were misinformed. We give the phone to the receptionist, and it turns out this guy speaks MAYAN. No wonder he didn't understand me!!! I cant tell you what a relief this was. Plus we did have a guide coming in the morning to pick us up. Thank goodness.

Saturday was spent traveling another four hours to get to Semuc Champey with a group of about 12 tourists in total from all over. I just love that about traveling. Oh HI Im from Italy, and Germany, and El Salvador….its just fun to mix up the cultures I guess and realize all the differences and similarities. So we go through a 2 hour unpaved journey down into a beautiful valley and then we have to ride in the back of a pick up truck to the actual park of Semuc Champey for another 2 hours, while standing up. Yeah that was fun…especially in 4WD. The trip was totally worth the end result of swimming around in these blue lagoons. It's a giant river that goes underneath a 300m limestone bridge that is covered with four connecting lagoons then at the bottom of the last one, the bridge comes to a giant waterfall that empties into the same river that flows under the bridge. AMAZING. I am pretty sure that was how paradise feels. Surrounded by butterflies everywhere and lush green mountains encasing you, gosh. My favorite part was when our guide grabbed Becca and just started walking off with her, of course I am inquisitively watching this and then she starts to disappear under a rock….what?! “Ummm Becca? What are you doing?!” She tells me there is an mini cave! So of course I swim over and load in behold, there is a tiny cave. And I mean tiny. You have about half a foot of breathing room between the water and the stalagmites. It was just magical, so of course I did it twice.

Next came the Lanquin Cave, all I have to say about that was that I was so concerned with not dying or falling to my death in the grimy cave, that I really didn't look around much. I was not that thrilled with the cave, I mostly wanted to see the bats, which there were many to see…and spiders. Our guide found a “pseudo-scorpion” which basically looks like a crab but is half scorpion half spider…creepy giant thing with 6 legs and 8 eyes….ugh so gross, but still intriguing.

After returning from our long drive to Coban, we were exhausted, however we still managed to meet up with some of the people from our tour and go eat some local grub and had some fabulous sausage. Street food for the win. Exhausted, we wandered back to our hotel and crashed. Was that seriously just one day?The next morning we slept in, obviously. And I managed to get us to the closest bus stop to catch our especial bus back home.

This past week is somewhat of a blur now as I was pretty sure I was going to just die Tuesday night from some sort of stomach bug/parasite. I am assuming I got it from cliff jumping into the water and having it shoot up my nose, all I could think was OMG I HAVE THE BRAIN EATING AMOEBA OR MALARIA! …no no, just felt like I was dying all night, no big deal. It was amazing how fast I came back from that, but my appetite has severely suffered. Its still a challenge to eat more than a couple handfuls. The rest of the week we had our regular dose of Spanish lessons and went to Antigua Wednesday where Becca and I did some browsing and haggling, of which I think we have become quite the team. Most of my purchases I have gotten down at least 40% of their original asking price. We went back to my favorite coffee spot in the plaza (yes, I already am friends with the owner…he’s awesome). There is something really comforting about having a local place where people in a foreign country recognize you and just start making your drink. I absolutely love it. Afterwards we walked over to a little lady making tostadas….enough said. Drank the local beverage of atoll (a creamy corn drink) and just relaxed until the rest of the group met up with us.

 As for Friday, some exciting news happened. I was helping the nurses give the kiddos their daily bathes and washing the burns and the chief of surgery, who is in charge of my placement at the hospital, and I started up a conversation getting to know each other a bit better. I give her the inside scoop on what I want to do as a Physician Assistant one day, for those of you who don’t know, I am really into Nephrology. She perks up at this and informs me that there is actually a pediatric nephrology clinic at the hospital…..WHAT ARE THE ODDS!? They mostly do dialysis but she told me that she really wants me to go and observe one day in the clinic. She also invited me to go observe a kidney transplant this coming week!!! I had to keep myself from jumping up in down in this tiny bath room but I had a tough time wiping the giant grin off my face, I cant help it. It appears my last three weeks here are going to be quite interesting to say the least.